At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
