I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
