ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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