Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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