I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
