i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
