Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
