Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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