I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She told me I should be a condom model.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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