You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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