Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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