from now on my penis is your penis
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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