I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
