nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
