Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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