I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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