Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
