I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
