I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
