He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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