I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
