smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
