I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
