I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
