I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
