Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
