Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
