I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
