I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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