o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
