: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize