he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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