Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
