Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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