would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Randomize
