I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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