Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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