Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
