if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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