Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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