I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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