thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's always time for handjobs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
