Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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