I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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