He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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