is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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