your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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