He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
