Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
