Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
