Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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